With St. Patrick’s day coming upon us, my emails have been full of Irish jokes.\u00a0 I have some Irish in my heritage on my Mother’s side of the family.\u00a0 In fact, she had a cousin that used to perform on the Lawrence Welk show, a tenor by the name of Albert Finney.\u00a0 So, I guess that I can spread some Irish humor around too.\u00a0 Of all the Irish jokes I have heard, this is by far my favorite:<\/p>\n
An Irish priest is in a church on Saturday afternoon, hearing confessions…A man walks in and kneels down and begins his confession – Father, it has been two weeks since my last confession. These are my sins: Last night I had sex with Nookie Green.<\/p>\n
That is your sin?<\/p>\n
Yes, Father.<\/p>\n
You are forgiven. Go out and say one “Our Father.” The man leaves. Soon, another enters and kneels. Father, it has been one month since my last confession. These are my sins: I have had sex with Nookie Green every week for the last month.<\/p>\n
The priest thinks to himself this Nookie Green woman is fairly popular with his male parishioners…<\/p>\n
Those are your sins?<\/p>\n
Yes, Father.<\/p>\n
You are forgiven. Go out and say three “Hail Marys.” The man leaves.<\/p>\n
Soon, another enters and kneels down. Father, it has been six months since my last confession. These are my sins: I have had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the last six months.<\/p>\n
This time, the priest has to ask – Who is this Nookie Green?<\/p>\n
Just a woman I know, Father.<\/p>\n
Very well – you are forgiven. Go out and say ten “Hail Marys.”<\/p>\n
The priest closes the church for the evening and leaves wondering who this Nookie Green woman is…<\/p>\n
The next morning, the priest is up in front of his congregation saying mass. The doors fly open in the back of the church and in walks this woman, a tall redhead with long gorgeous hair, a green sequin dress, green sequined heels and a green hat with a long green feather coming from it. As she walks straight up the aisle she has the attention of everyone in the church.\u00a0 She walks all the way down the aisle and sits down right in front of the priest, her knees apart.<\/p>\n
The priest cannot help but stop and stare. He finally catches himself and leans over to ask the altar boy – Pssssst. Is that Nookie Green?<\/p>\n
The altar boy can’t believe what the priest was asking, takes a second to collect his thoughts and says, “No, Father, I think it’s just the reflection off her shoes.”<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
On second thought, that might be my second favorite Irish joke, but my favorite one may not be suitable for publishing! <\/span><\/p>\n
Happy St. Patrick’s Day!<\/span><\/p>\n
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